What I learned as president of my synagogue

Two years in any position that presents radically new challenges—where the support structure consists mostly of volunteers, where core values join with practical considerations as policy drivers, and where the effects of many actions have to be assessed on the internal, community, national, and even international levels—are sure to bring lessons. So in my final column as president of Temple Shir Tikvah, I decided to records some of the lessons I’ve learned.

Leading doesn’t have to mean launching

This was my first lesson, given to me explicitly by other leaders soon after I started. Most problems in organizations are identified, and most solutions suggested, by people such as committee members working directly on day-to-day matters. These people set the agenda. Other good ideas an come from the outside (such as the Greater Boston Interfaith Organization). Vision can be expressed by hooking people together and synthesizing what they have to say, not just in telling them what to do.

Information gathering happens separately from decision making

Committees are often assembled to gather information and make decisions, but I’ve found that these are very different activities requiring different modalities of conversation.

Unstructured group meetings are great for brainstorming and sparking new ideas. But the same groups are not so good at making decisions (anything you have to vote on is sure to have flaws). So when a direction emerges from the information-gathering stage, I like to engage group members individually in a flurry of phone calls (supported by email) and achieve consensus before we walk into a room to make a decision.

Find out why people are active—and keep reminding them

Articulating the reasons that so many congregants put time, energy, and emotion into our congregation can help prevent burn-out, and can attract even more synagogue members to participate.

Ultimately, interviews and small group meetings are the way to draw out this sensitive information. So I held a personal meeting with every staff person and every board member of the synagogue shortly after I began the presidency, and I’m convinced this led to much better working relationships. I also shared stories of challenges and successes with others.

Your first intuition is usually right

There’s a lot of research suggesting that our gut instincts tie into rich internal knowledge we don’t have available consciously. When I get a certain feeling about a new situation, further investigation usually proves it to be right.

Your first solution is usually wrong

Even though intuition usually places an issue in the correct framework, the precise means of addressing the issue requires a lot of research and negotiation. One example was our security changes to the heightened threat of violence against Jewish institutions; our current policy is significantly different from the short-term policy I put in place as an emergency response.

Every complainer is a contributor

One can always mutter about power struggles and hidden agendas, but I’ve decided that when a congregant expresses concerns to me, I should simply take them at face value. When engaged in genuine conversation, the person who makes a complaint can become a key contributor to the solution, sometimes making a dramatic turn from their original negative attitude. Bringing in the stake-holders on all sides also means getting myself out of the way. And while we all know that just listening to someone is therapeutic, I think that listening just once is not enough—I try to to back later to ask how the congregant feels about the matter after some time has passed.

Treat every conflict as a chance to get closer to individuals

In addition to using conflict positively to build community, I have tried to use it to draw closer to the individuals involved in the conflict. Pirke Avot praises those who learn from everyone around them. I take it even further: the deeper someone’s disagreements with me, the more I can gain from understanding them.

Treat every conflict as a door into the congregation

One of the biggest attitude changes I needed to make was to train myself to welcome challenge. Those of us who have struggled with a challenge have learned more about the history of our community and its values. Once the crisis was over, we had more tools and experience to deal with future crises.

Treat every conflict as a door into Judaism

Who could be so proud as to think that he was the only one who had ever suffered a particular malady? Obviously, whatever is bothering our congregation must be troubling others as well. In truth, each conflict reflects an element of modern American Jewish life. Therefore, I can become a better citizen in that community by understanding the conflicts in my home congregation. Once I understood this, it made me eager to get to know the larger community better. I went to seminars and get-togethers sponsored by Jewish and other faith organizations, read mailing lists carefully, and chatted with people about their congregations whenever I ran into someone who was active in a faith community. I am convinced now of our need to give support to—and get support from—these broader institutions.

Culture is resilient

In a growing organization like ours, with so many new members each year, a certain anxiety arises that we’ll lose the values and behaviors that make us so attractive. But I believe communities tend to maintain their initial culture, so long as people join through natural choice. This is why companies (and even countries) are hard to turn around when challenged by changing external conditions. But it also means that Temple Shir Tikvah, so long as we manage the other challenges of growth, can trust our culture to continue to shine forth.

More Biblical commentaries

Andy Oram
May, 2007

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.